The World’s 20 Shortest Books
1. The Book of Virtues, by Bill Clinton
2. My Plan To Find The Real Killers, by OJ Simpson
3. Human Rights Advances in China
4. America’s Most Popular Lawyers
5. Career Opportunities for Liberal Arts Majors
6. Detroit – A Travel Guide
7. Different Ways to Spell “Bob”
8. Dr. Kevorkian’s Collection of Motivational Speeches
9. Easy UNIX
10. Al Gore: The Wild Years
11. Everything Men Know About Women
12. Everything Women Know About Men
13. French Hospitality
14. George Foreman’s Big Book of Baby Names
15. How to Sustain a Musical Career, by Art Garfunkel
16. Mike Tyson’s Guide to Dating Etiquette
17. One Hundred and One Spotted Owl Recipes by the EPA
18. Things I Wouldn’t Do for Money, by Dennis Rodman
19. The Amish Phone Directory
20. The Engineer’s Guide to Fashion
Questions With No Answers
1. If you work in a hospital, can you call in sick?
2. Why do you need a driver’s license to buy liquor when you can’t drink and drive?
3. Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
4. Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
5. Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
6. Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
7. Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
8. Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
9. How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
10. If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
11. If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
12. If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
13. If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
14. If you’re in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
15. You know how most packages say “Open here”. What is the protocol if the package says, “Open somewhere else”?
16. Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
17. Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
18. Why is it that when you transport something by car, it’s called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it’s called cargo?
19. You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can’t they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
20. What is the speed of dark?
21. How come you never hear about grunted employees?
22. What is a “free” gift? Aren’t all gifts free?
23. After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?
24. If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
25. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
26. When sign makers go on strike, what is written on their picket signs?
27. Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all”?
28. Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?
29. If builders are afraid to have a 13th floor, then why aren’t book publishers afraid to have a Chapter 11?
30. How can there be self-help groups?
31. Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?
32. Where are Preparations A through G?
33. Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs?
34. If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?
35. When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you’re just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
36. What happened to the first 6 “ups”?
37. If an orange is orange, why isn’t a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?
38. Hermits have no peer pressure.
39. There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
40. How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?